I'm not sure

When I landed on my two feet after I got that piece of paper back in 2002, I was so certain of what I wanted, where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do. Now... I'm not sure.

Things have become blurry, outlooks jaded, conviction challenged, my smile sometimes gives way to a frown. I'm only human.

Professionally, I'm reminded of shortcomings (you need to work on this, this, that, walk on water, heal the sick, create a cure for a highly communicable disease and then we'll give you that promotion if we think you did all in a timely manner), more than what I have done well.. I'm not sure of my place.

Maybe if I wear this suit on this day and stand at this metro stop at this time, I'll run into the right person who'll give me that all too important "big break" that people talk about on tv when they're cashing in on their millions. Since Ed McMahon is gone, I have one less option in the world. I too, could have been a winner... If only.

I'm not sure when I'll get there, how I'll get there, or the circumstances surrounding all that but I know one thing. I'm sure about one thing. My paycheck still remains too small.